There Are Just Some Things I know I Should Avoid

I have a friend who continually allows men to determine how she feels about herself...and when they treat her like shit and go back to their girlfriends she bitches about it on her blog. I finally decided to just give it to her straight and not blame the guy and sympathise with her as I usually do. So, she's upset with me. Frankly, I don't give a damn. If you are too blind to see it's your actions and lack of self-esteem that keeps you in the vicious cycle, then I no longer have sympathy. I was a victim of the cycle as well, thus I understand what it's like to be played with. However, now I can recognize that it's happening and end it before I get too involved.

That said, here's my dilemma. Within the past few weeks, I have met two men. One of whom I'm smitten with and one that I should be smitten with but am not. I told the universe that I didn't want to date while I was back here and I never want to date a musician again and what does it do? It sends me a local musician to fuck with my head a week later. He's just wonderful but he has major social anxiety which had proven to make this a slow, slow process. Whenever we run into each other, though, sparks fly.

Now for guy numero dos. He is one of the funniest and most intelligent men I've ever met. I love hanging out with him and talking to him but I simply am not attracted to him. How can this be? Granted, I probably wouldn't have been so enthusiastic about him at our first meeting if I hadn't had this leech attached to me over New Years (that's a whole other story that will make me nauseous if I think about it hard enough to write about it).

The two collided on Tuesday when several of us attended the musician's show at a place where I used to work. Admittedly, I spent most of the evening comparing the two of them. The musician won. There's just something about him. There was an instant connection when he first sat down with me and a mutual friend in a coffee shop. I haven't felt that kind of chemistry in a very long time. I know that he is interested in me by the way he has behaved towards me during and since our first meeting. The problem is I am a bold move person and he is clearly more subtle in his efforts.

I still don't know if I want to date anyone at the moment but I can't help but notice the addition of these two men to my life. I'm just really annoyed and confused by the whole situation.

I hate blogs like this.