Personal Statement

I have to write a "person statement" for grad school. I've written two of these for UW so far and it gives me the greatest anxiety to have to write another one. In fact, it's one of the major reasons why I wasn't going to apply this year. That, and the three letters of recommendation I have to make materialize by a certain date. Ugh. I'm not a writer. Not even close. How the hell am I supposed to explain why I want to be an actor and why I should be admitted into their program in a page. Part of me wants to write "If you aren't convinced by my audition, then this paper will be irrelevant." or "Please refer to the previous two years of personal statements." or "This past year has been the most difficult of my life. I've grown from it and I believe your program will help me reignite the light at the end of the tunnel which has grown dimmer with the introduction of harsh realities."

I don't fucking know. I can write a polite and self-critical page explaining my weaknesses and strengths and how their program can strengthen all of my abilities but I've done that. Plus, I have to audition for these people. If they don't see potential in the first 30 seconds of my audition, there is no way what I wrote in my personal statement, my transcripts, or my three letters of rec. will get me into the program. It's like jumping through 1,000 hoops to just get a pat on the head and the cold affirmation of "nice work" at the end of the obstacle course. It just seems impossible. Not to mention, the insane amount of moulah it takes to even do this. UW's application fee alone is $110. $110 for just 15 minutes of their precious time. Jesus. Plus, airfare, new audition outfit, and food money. With the added large sum usually spent on drowning a horrific audition in alcoholic beverages. Why do I do this to myself? Because I want it more than anything and I will not stop until I succeed. Fuck, I hate this fact about myself sometimes. I get an idea into my head, which eventually seeps into my heart and then I cannot let it go for the life of me. Can't there be an easier way? I know that I am able to be an integral part of any program I were to get accepted into. I know I could do it and do it well or I would kill myself till I did. The problem is, so would thousands of other women who have the same look and talent that I posses. What can I do that would make me stand out? I don't know and I've been trying to figure that out for two years. Bleh.