Keeper of Records

I'm starting this blog to simply remind myself of where I want and need to be within the next two years. It's other purpose is to track the changes I go through within that same time frame. In January 2009 I will either A) already be in Grad school B) will be making the steps to move to Denver within three months or C) I will be in Denver. I have always lacked patience when it comes to life. This will be my third year auditioning for grad school and I really think it may be my last regardless of the outcome. I want to be a college theatre professor eventually but not being able to get into a graduate school has curbed that dream for a bit. I am not truly sure what it is that is pulling me to Denver. I like the south but I am desperate to get out. The thought of spending yet another year here is overwhelming. I thought that I had an adventure in my future way back in August. I see now that I did it just wasn't where I thought/planned. Denver is...crisp. That may have no significance to anyone else but to me it means a great deal. It would be a fresh start in a great city. I need that start. I need that kick to the ass and the removal of my comfort bubble. I know that I need to learn patience as well. It is without a doubt my biggest challenge. So much of my internal being has changed since graduating from college that looking back is like reading a fiction novel. It just wasn't my life, or so it seems.

I've lost, for the first time, real love. I believe in love above anything and everything in this world. I believe that it is powerful and worth the trials and tribulations it often brings with it. I believe in it more than ever because I've learned that I can love with my whole heart. I've learned how scary it can be to people and how devistating it can be. I've also learned that my intuition is as strong as I thought it to be. I know in my heart the love I have for this one particular person is strong and will remain. I also know that it's not over. It may never be romance again but it's not over. I'm ready for the next adventure because love is supposed to be just that, an adventure. I'm ready for someone else but above all, I believe in the power of love.