For some reason, I have watched "He's Just Not That Into You" several times. Maybe it's because of the hope that I don't remember the movie correctly. Maybe it's because it gives me fuel to not buy into the title's philosophy. So, here's what I've learned:
Everyone is the exception not the rule...wait, everyone's the rule and not the exception (at least until the last 10 minutes of the film where everyone will get everything they ever wanted).
Yoga teachers like skinny-dipping and are sluts.
Screwing a married man is fine as long as he doesn't also continue to screw his wife.
Gingers are clingers.
A man will marry you if you decide that you no longer want to get married.
Only anal-retentive, OCD crazy bitches have their husbands cheat on them.
Promotional pens are great gifts.
If you're an obsessive potential boyfriend stalker, Prince Charming will save you from yourself and also date you.
A Mac will like you, even if you're a PC.
Husbands are pigs.
Gay BFFs are incredibly unhelpful.
No one genuinely wants to help you with your career. They just want to do you.
Even if the girl doesn't like you, she will still screw you. You just have to wait until she's vulnerable.
Writing copy for nutmeg is the hardest job in the world.
Mary Stuart Masterson movies will teach you how to be the perfect woman.
It's unfortunate that men control most of the Hollywood studios.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
La la LA la
So, I'm taking a break from my writing job to, er, write. Anywho...I just started a new gig as an SEO writer for 10 Best Solutions (for those of you not down with the lingo, SEO means "search engine optimized"). Here I was thinking I'd just be given a list of bullet points and asked to write about them. No sir. No ma'am. It's harcore analytics and they don't give you the bullet points, you have to find them. It's a little overwhelming but I think I'll get the hang of it soon. It's a nice job. I get to listen to my ipod and learn a new skill which, I love. I am a collector of obscure skills and certifications. Just one more for the ol' CV.
In other news, there is no other news. My life is pretty boring at the moment. All I do is work and read books. I did, however, finally send of my application to ad school. It's not up to the standard that I wanted it to be but I gave myself a deadline and I only missed it by two days. Haha. I just hope it's enough to get me in so I can finally start on the path to get to where I want to be. I have a feeling this SEO work is going to come in handy.
I forgot what it was like to have a 9-5 desk job. My legs hurt from sitting all day long. I'm going to have to do some sort of exercise from now on to keep myself from what I like to call "high school teacher ass". You know what I'm talking about. Narrow shoulders and then a flat backside. It's okay. We've all seen it and judged accordingly. I just don't want it. Maybe I'll just do squats during my lunch break.
Well, I need to get back to writing about this hotel in Texas. Woohoo.
In other news, there is no other news. My life is pretty boring at the moment. All I do is work and read books. I did, however, finally send of my application to ad school. It's not up to the standard that I wanted it to be but I gave myself a deadline and I only missed it by two days. Haha. I just hope it's enough to get me in so I can finally start on the path to get to where I want to be. I have a feeling this SEO work is going to come in handy.
I forgot what it was like to have a 9-5 desk job. My legs hurt from sitting all day long. I'm going to have to do some sort of exercise from now on to keep myself from what I like to call "high school teacher ass". You know what I'm talking about. Narrow shoulders and then a flat backside. It's okay. We've all seen it and judged accordingly. I just don't want it. Maybe I'll just do squats during my lunch break.
Well, I need to get back to writing about this hotel in Texas. Woohoo.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Semi-intoxicated Cinco De Mayo Rant
Okay, this might be my hormones/tequila kicking in BUT I am so f-ing tired of the guys with girlfriends bullshit. OH. Mmm. Gee. Seriously? The amount of guys I have met who have girlfriends, and by girlfriends I mean LAME ASS girlfriends is astonishing. I met this amazing guy last week. AMAZING. Has a girlfriend. Did he mention said girlfriend, no. Of course not. Why would he? Has he been keeping e-mail/twitter tabs on me? Yes. Has he been in touch to talk about how awesome I am? Yes. Do I have "Back-burner Girl" tattooed across my forehead? Apparently. I am so frustrated at this moment as I tried to count how many times I've been in my current situation and I lost count at 15. FIFTEEN!!! Really? REALLY?!?!? Know how I found out about said girlfriend? Stalkbook. Nothing is sacred in the digitized age. Nothing. Boys, keep this in mind. We will find out. We know. We are not backstabbing sluts. Go fuck yourselves if you think otherwise.
The End.
The End.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Twists in the Pursuit of Greatness
Recently, through an unbelievable bit of fate, I spent three days at an educational/creative conference called Food For Thought. To say is was a game changer is a gross understatement. I had the most indescribable experience and met some incredible people. Listening to the various speakers (i.e. Mayor Cory Booker, founder of Geek Squad Robert Stephens and Chef Wylie Dufresne) made me realize things that I hadn't been brave enough to think about before. Greatness takes courage.
As I was listening to everyone around me I started to feel inspired. Inspired in a way I haven't been in a very long time. It was refreshing to hear that people whom I have admired struggle(d) with their destinies. It was refreshing to hear that there were moments where they wanted to be ordinary. It was refreshing to hear that a belief in one's greatness is not arrogance but knowledge of truth.
What was more bizarre is that my story was often a parallel to those who were speaking. In fact, Francesca (one of the attendees) told me that she couldn't stop thinking about my story which, was revealed at dinner the first night. She told me to soak it in and use this as a springboard for my future. I've been lucky to have a lot of people in my life believe in me. What's made me especially grateful for this past week is the fact that now I have met virtual strangers who believe in me.
I've often been called arrogant, pretentious and stuck-up. Once people get to know me, they usually renege those sentiments but I think I now understand why people initially feel that way about me. I know I am destined for greatness. Not necessarily fame or fortune as those are not the defining principles of greatness. The problem of saying out loud that I believe that I will do great things is it comes off as arrogance. If I had already achieved what I believe I will, no one would call that arrogant. They would ask for advice/guidance/etc.
So many things are put in place to make people fear living up to or surpassing their potential. Society for one. Competitors for another. Well, after FFT I've decided to put on the blinders and go full speed ahead. A simple piece of advice that might be a little hard to follow sometimes but being ordinary just isn't an option. No matter how much I might want to be from time to time.
As I was listening to everyone around me I started to feel inspired. Inspired in a way I haven't been in a very long time. It was refreshing to hear that people whom I have admired struggle(d) with their destinies. It was refreshing to hear that there were moments where they wanted to be ordinary. It was refreshing to hear that a belief in one's greatness is not arrogance but knowledge of truth.
What was more bizarre is that my story was often a parallel to those who were speaking. In fact, Francesca (one of the attendees) told me that she couldn't stop thinking about my story which, was revealed at dinner the first night. She told me to soak it in and use this as a springboard for my future. I've been lucky to have a lot of people in my life believe in me. What's made me especially grateful for this past week is the fact that now I have met virtual strangers who believe in me.
I've often been called arrogant, pretentious and stuck-up. Once people get to know me, they usually renege those sentiments but I think I now understand why people initially feel that way about me. I know I am destined for greatness. Not necessarily fame or fortune as those are not the defining principles of greatness. The problem of saying out loud that I believe that I will do great things is it comes off as arrogance. If I had already achieved what I believe I will, no one would call that arrogant. They would ask for advice/guidance/etc.
So many things are put in place to make people fear living up to or surpassing their potential. Society for one. Competitors for another. Well, after FFT I've decided to put on the blinders and go full speed ahead. A simple piece of advice that might be a little hard to follow sometimes but being ordinary just isn't an option. No matter how much I might want to be from time to time.
Friday, April 16, 2010
I Left My Heart in San Francisco
A few things I noticed on both cross-country flights:
Tubby, bald white men, Eastern European women and surfer brahs hold up the boarding process more than anyone else.
When sitting next to a mother and her three-year-old, if she ignores said child, what she's really doing is hoping you'll take an interest in the little ankle-biting monster that is kicking the crap out of you and be her free babysitter for the duration of the flight.
Fanny packs are back!
There are a lot of hot, young dads. It's weird.
Watching Criminal Minds while sitting next to a child is ALWAYS a good idea.
Continental Airlines needs to redesign their uniforms ASAP. All the flight attendants look like majorettes in the saddest marching band in the world and the air stewards look like they're doing a half-assed impression of Dick Tracy.
The flight attendants hate their jobs. Trust me, they totes do.
Moving on, my trip to The Bay City was amazing. The weather was gorgeous, the people are so nice and Miami Ad School kicks major ass. What really struck me about San Francisco is the energy. It's very different from here. Don't get me wrong, I love the South but in California, people were so positive and healthy. I saw more runners in two days then I've seen in a week here. Sure, there are seedy parts of town and a large homeless population (as is true with any major city) but I never felt like I was in any sort of danger.
What I do know is, if/when I move out there, most of my monthly budget will inevitably go to food. Oh the food! So many vegetarian options, farmer's markets, wine and countless specialty stores! My foodie self was overwhelmed.
As for MAS, I had a ball. I sat in on a class and all of the students were welcoming. Plus, they are in advertising so they did their best to sell me on their school. And it worked. It was refreshing to sit in a room of witty creatives. I was still the odd ball but I suppose that's my lot in life.
It's taking everything I have to not quit my job (which, isn't bad, it's just waiting tables), pack my stuff and figure it out once I get there. Lo, I cannot. I have four more months and then, THEN I can go. Boo.
Tubby, bald white men, Eastern European women and surfer brahs hold up the boarding process more than anyone else.
When sitting next to a mother and her three-year-old, if she ignores said child, what she's really doing is hoping you'll take an interest in the little ankle-biting monster that is kicking the crap out of you and be her free babysitter for the duration of the flight.
Fanny packs are back!
There are a lot of hot, young dads. It's weird.
Watching Criminal Minds while sitting next to a child is ALWAYS a good idea.
Continental Airlines needs to redesign their uniforms ASAP. All the flight attendants look like majorettes in the saddest marching band in the world and the air stewards look like they're doing a half-assed impression of Dick Tracy.
The flight attendants hate their jobs. Trust me, they totes do.
Moving on, my trip to The Bay City was amazing. The weather was gorgeous, the people are so nice and Miami Ad School kicks major ass. What really struck me about San Francisco is the energy. It's very different from here. Don't get me wrong, I love the South but in California, people were so positive and healthy. I saw more runners in two days then I've seen in a week here. Sure, there are seedy parts of town and a large homeless population (as is true with any major city) but I never felt like I was in any sort of danger.
What I do know is, if/when I move out there, most of my monthly budget will inevitably go to food. Oh the food! So many vegetarian options, farmer's markets, wine and countless specialty stores! My foodie self was overwhelmed.
As for MAS, I had a ball. I sat in on a class and all of the students were welcoming. Plus, they are in advertising so they did their best to sell me on their school. And it worked. It was refreshing to sit in a room of witty creatives. I was still the odd ball but I suppose that's my lot in life.
It's taking everything I have to not quit my job (which, isn't bad, it's just waiting tables), pack my stuff and figure it out once I get there. Lo, I cannot. I have four more months and then, THEN I can go. Boo.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Time to Get Personal
Almost two months ago, I made the decision to go see "Food Inc." as part of Greenville Forward's lecture series and I haven't eaten meat since. If you haven't seen "Food Inc." it's currently available on Netflix instant watch. So, watch it instantly. Now to be honest, I miss meat. A lot. Especially bacon. God, do I miss bacon. But, I just can't bring myself to actually purchase it, let alone consume it. Now I'm not about to claim that I've never put my mind to something, been a stubborn ass about maintaining it and then renege on said conviction a few months later. Guilty. However, I am in no way claiming that I will never eat meat again. So there.
I'm a vegetarian at the moment. By vegetarian, I mean I'm eating bread, pasta and cheese. Super healthy I know. Instead of meat, I'm eating fish and seafood, which got me called out by my dear brother. Last week, I made a tasty ahi tuna taco with broccoli slaw while my family ate ham. What did Kit have to say about this? Let me tell you, he took a huge bite of ham and looked at me and said, "So, you won't eat ham but you'll eat an endangered species? How does that make sense in your moral compass?" Kit - 1, me - 0. My response...? Do what any nerd would do and buy books. Lots of books. What books you ask; "The Kind Diet" Alicia Silverstone, "The Omnivore's Dilemma", "Food Rules" Michael Pollan, and various other Vegan and Vegetarian cookbooks. What have these books told me? That there's a lot of things I love that I can't have but there are a lot of benefits to no longer having those things. Plus, eating out will be a pain in the ass.
Recently, I found out that at the ripe old age of 25 I'm pre-menopausal. Yes, Mrs. Reel, you were right, my eggs are old. My testosterone levels are so low, that it's affecting my life and probably has been since I was a teenager. Thank you prescription drug companies for giving bonuses to doctors who peddle your products without consequences. The pseudo tumor cerebri is probably due to being prescribed the most powerful oral contraceptive on the market when I was in puberty. Not only that, the pseudo tumor was never actually treated. Also, my hormone levels (which, I have consistently asked my doctors to check) were never checked because I was/am "too young." Another thing, it's the reason I've struggled with my weight for a decade. What's the solution: Hormone replacement therapy. Cost: $3,000 per year. What are these replacement hormones made out of: Plants. See a pattern here?
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to be vegan one day a week. I'm going to try to be vegetarian the rest of the week. I'm going to cut out processed foods and refined sugar and flower (something I've been slowly doing since college). I'm going to go to Whole Foods and not buy what I usually buy:
Cheese
Sushi
Wine
Bread
Brownies
Cake
Microwavable Meals
Frozen Veggies
Olives
Eggs
It feeds a nice delusion that I'm being healthy because I'm shopping at Whole Foods. Granted, it's healthier because it's organic, but it still ain't healthy. I just gave myself a ridiculous reality check. Hope y'all are proud.
If I were to do what all of these books tell me to do and choose a plant based diet, my skin will clear up, my weight will be under control and my hormones will balance themselves out naturally. Thus, no more acne cream ($300 per year), no more hormone replacement therapy ($3000 per year) and no more vitamin supplements ($150-300 per year). That's a shit ton of money I can put in savings. Do I think I can do this? At the moment, hell yes. Do I think I'll never eat meat again? No but I think I can start wanting to eat veggies and fruit instead of those Chick Filet nuggets dipped in high fructose corn syrup sauce. At least, I hope that's what happens.
Side bar- Currently, my dad is in the kitchen with his hands in a vat of chopped packaged ham mixed with microwave potatoes to make ham croquettes. And I wonder why my system is screwed up after years of that food.
I'm a vegetarian at the moment. By vegetarian, I mean I'm eating bread, pasta and cheese. Super healthy I know. Instead of meat, I'm eating fish and seafood, which got me called out by my dear brother. Last week, I made a tasty ahi tuna taco with broccoli slaw while my family ate ham. What did Kit have to say about this? Let me tell you, he took a huge bite of ham and looked at me and said, "So, you won't eat ham but you'll eat an endangered species? How does that make sense in your moral compass?" Kit - 1, me - 0. My response...? Do what any nerd would do and buy books. Lots of books. What books you ask; "The Kind Diet" Alicia Silverstone, "The Omnivore's Dilemma", "Food Rules" Michael Pollan, and various other Vegan and Vegetarian cookbooks. What have these books told me? That there's a lot of things I love that I can't have but there are a lot of benefits to no longer having those things. Plus, eating out will be a pain in the ass.
Recently, I found out that at the ripe old age of 25 I'm pre-menopausal. Yes, Mrs. Reel, you were right, my eggs are old. My testosterone levels are so low, that it's affecting my life and probably has been since I was a teenager. Thank you prescription drug companies for giving bonuses to doctors who peddle your products without consequences. The pseudo tumor cerebri is probably due to being prescribed the most powerful oral contraceptive on the market when I was in puberty. Not only that, the pseudo tumor was never actually treated. Also, my hormone levels (which, I have consistently asked my doctors to check) were never checked because I was/am "too young." Another thing, it's the reason I've struggled with my weight for a decade. What's the solution: Hormone replacement therapy. Cost: $3,000 per year. What are these replacement hormones made out of: Plants. See a pattern here?
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to be vegan one day a week. I'm going to try to be vegetarian the rest of the week. I'm going to cut out processed foods and refined sugar and flower (something I've been slowly doing since college). I'm going to go to Whole Foods and not buy what I usually buy:
Cheese
Sushi
Wine
Bread
Brownies
Cake
Microwavable Meals
Frozen Veggies
Olives
Eggs
It feeds a nice delusion that I'm being healthy because I'm shopping at Whole Foods. Granted, it's healthier because it's organic, but it still ain't healthy. I just gave myself a ridiculous reality check. Hope y'all are proud.
If I were to do what all of these books tell me to do and choose a plant based diet, my skin will clear up, my weight will be under control and my hormones will balance themselves out naturally. Thus, no more acne cream ($300 per year), no more hormone replacement therapy ($3000 per year) and no more vitamin supplements ($150-300 per year). That's a shit ton of money I can put in savings. Do I think I can do this? At the moment, hell yes. Do I think I'll never eat meat again? No but I think I can start wanting to eat veggies and fruit instead of those Chick Filet nuggets dipped in high fructose corn syrup sauce. At least, I hope that's what happens.
Side bar- Currently, my dad is in the kitchen with his hands in a vat of chopped packaged ham mixed with microwave potatoes to make ham croquettes. And I wonder why my system is screwed up after years of that food.
Friday, March 12, 2010
My New Idol
Kelly Cutrone is a true industry hero. Granted, I in no way want to go into fashion PR, but her philosophy and brutal honesty are refreshing. It's about time the Millennial Generation realizes that the world isn't going to hand them whatever it is their spoiled little hearts desire without hard work. Bravo, Kelly Cutrone, bravo!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
In Response to Shawn's Nudge
Okay, okay. I get it. It's been over a year since I've updated this thing and although I have wanted to write many a time since my last post, I simply haven't. So, here's to the reawakening.
Lately there have been a lot of conversations about women who choose career over love or vice versa. My close circle of friends have all stated that they want the career. I agree but it's not without it's conflicting feelings. I want success in my career. I want to own a home without a man involved. I want to be promoted. I want to be the "Big Guy". I want to not only raise the bar but become the bar. Most importantly, I don't want to feel guilty about it. To quote Lady Gaga via Katie's blog,
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that you career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
See? See what I mean? I know that if I bust my ass at my job I will eventually make it to where I want to go (well, in theory) but I don't know that if I sacrifice for a man it'll pay off. In fact, in my experience (outside of my parent's 40 year marriage) relationships suck. Someone screws up and it seems like it's harder with my generation for those screw ups to be resolved.
BUT speaking of career women, a friend of mine gave me a book to peruse recently and in spite of a cheesy title ("Women Don't Ask") and even more ridiculous and lame cover art, it's actually been a really eye-opening book. Basically, it's research from an economist and a psychologist on the real reason why women earn less money for the same or more demanding job, take care of more household issues and usually give up their career ambitions for their husband's. It's because we don't ask for more money/help/benefits/etc and from a young age are taught to not place monetary value on our tasks. I'm fascinated by this book. Why? Because everything they argue is backed by notated research and it just makes sense. It also pisses me off.
On the flip side, I made the colossal mistake of watching "Up In The Air" this afternoon, which is a love letter to the find-love-above-all-else-or-you'll-wind-up-with-ten-million-frequent-flyer-miles-and-an-empty-apartment argument. The more I think about it and the more I see the couples around me the more I realize, as a woman, you really can't have both. At least, you can't have both and maintain a normal blood pressure. Do I want the empty apartment and an amazing jet-setting life or do I want a warm body to come home to and an unsatisfying career?
There are times when I truly hate seeing both sides of most arguments.
Lately there have been a lot of conversations about women who choose career over love or vice versa. My close circle of friends have all stated that they want the career. I agree but it's not without it's conflicting feelings. I want success in my career. I want to own a home without a man involved. I want to be promoted. I want to be the "Big Guy". I want to not only raise the bar but become the bar. Most importantly, I don't want to feel guilty about it. To quote Lady Gaga via Katie's blog,
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that you career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
See? See what I mean? I know that if I bust my ass at my job I will eventually make it to where I want to go (well, in theory) but I don't know that if I sacrifice for a man it'll pay off. In fact, in my experience (outside of my parent's 40 year marriage) relationships suck. Someone screws up and it seems like it's harder with my generation for those screw ups to be resolved.
BUT speaking of career women, a friend of mine gave me a book to peruse recently and in spite of a cheesy title ("Women Don't Ask") and even more ridiculous and lame cover art, it's actually been a really eye-opening book. Basically, it's research from an economist and a psychologist on the real reason why women earn less money for the same or more demanding job, take care of more household issues and usually give up their career ambitions for their husband's. It's because we don't ask for more money/help/benefits/etc and from a young age are taught to not place monetary value on our tasks. I'm fascinated by this book. Why? Because everything they argue is backed by notated research and it just makes sense. It also pisses me off.
On the flip side, I made the colossal mistake of watching "Up In The Air" this afternoon, which is a love letter to the find-love-above-all-else-or-you'll-wind-up-with-ten-million-frequent-flyer-miles-and-an-empty-apartment argument. The more I think about it and the more I see the couples around me the more I realize, as a woman, you really can't have both. At least, you can't have both and maintain a normal blood pressure. Do I want the empty apartment and an amazing jet-setting life or do I want a warm body to come home to and an unsatisfying career?
There are times when I truly hate seeing both sides of most arguments.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Arg
I got into a yelling match via cell phone with my manipulative bitch of a boss about four hours ago. Funny thing about this whole situation is that I turned in my two-weeks notice, oh, over a month ago. I agreed to work one day a week because she begged me to and she somehow twisted it around to make it sound as if she's doing me a favor. I'm sorry,but what about a two-weeks notice is unclear? I quit and yet now I'm praying to be fired...?? This is the type of nonsense that only happens to me. Hopefully, when my anger subsides, I'll laugh because I'm sure this is funny.
The most pathetic sight I think of is a semi without anything to pull. It looks so lost without all 18 wheels. Like a turtle on its back. I think I'm the semi. Stubby and with no purpose for the moment, but hell if I don't know where I'm going.
The most pathetic sight I think of is a semi without anything to pull. It looks so lost without all 18 wheels. Like a turtle on its back. I think I'm the semi. Stubby and with no purpose for the moment, but hell if I don't know where I'm going.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Okay Universe, I'm putting it out there.
I am attempting to be uber positive. I am sending out good vibes of what I want to do/have/be into the ether and I believe, without a doubt that it will happen. The funny thing about this whole new perspective is that I'm being very secretive about what exactly it is I'm sending into the universe. Normally, I am too open about my desires but for some reason I'm very protective about this. I suppose I'm testing my faith in a way. I want this to happen to prove me right; to prove that I can do anything I set my mind to without other people cheering me on. It's lonely and isolated but I've relied too much on encouragement from outsiders in the past. Now, it's my responsibility.
Universe, you know what I want, now bring about the situations that will help me get it.
Universe, you know what I want, now bring about the situations that will help me get it.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A Moment in History
Up until November 4, 2008 the only moments in my life that I would tell my kids about have all been sad. Princess Diana's death and funeral, 9-11, Iraq...you get my drift. Now, I can say that I have witnessed something spectacular. Barack Obama's acceptance speech in Grant park and the ensuing celebrations in the streets across the world. I am so proud to have been a part of this historic campaign as a donor to Obama and as a voter. My generation stepped up and spoke out against failed policies and Republican greed. I am so proud of my country, of my peers and of my generation who measured a man by his character and not his color. I am so very, very proud. Congratulations President-Elect Obama. Yes we did!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Head Over Heels
I am absolutely in love...with a fictional character (seriously). I hate to admit it but this is not the first time I've fallen for someone who only exists in print. It's interesting to me to look at the dynamic of how someone can get attached to a person who doesn't exist. So, here's my psychoanalytic interpretation of this phenomenon. Firstly, a fictional character is written to make you fall in love. They are usually in a plot line that has very high stakes. The high stakes keep things much more interesting than they would be in the typical daily life. Secondly, they do and say everything you wish someone in real life would do and say. They make the sweeping gestures of eternal devotion, they write love letters that would make Shakespeare green with envy, they fight for the heroine, etc, etc, etc. Lastly (and perhaps, most importantly) they don't exist. If I were actually presented with a Mr. Darcy or an Edward Cullen tomorrow, I would probably run as fast as I could away from them. I'm not ready for that kind of reality. I settle for relationships that I know won't go anywhere. It's easier at this point in my life to have a sudden burst of passion and heartache then to settle in for the long haul. For the moment, I'm content to keep this relationship strictly in my head and not actually in my hands.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The Big Bang
On the evening news tonight, they did a story about a group of scientists who are recreating the big bang underneath Switzerland. Part of me is really excited about this experiment and the other part of me is a little weary of it. First of all, there's the prospect of better understanding photons, neurons, dark matter and all the mysteries of the universe that kept me interested in college astronomy. Second of all, the way they're causing the reaction is pretty cool too. They're using giant magnets under the Earth's surface that they will send a shock wave of energy through that will cause a reaction that they can (hopefully) measure in tiny particle reactions. Cool, yase?
The flip side to this is, the big bang was a catastrophic event that, in theory, happened to have a fruitful side effect. So, what if this experiment is just catastrophic? I mean, Einstein didn't want the atom bomb but his discovery enabled it's creation. Plus, the Christian Right is accusing them of "playing God" as per usual, which usually means something that could change the face of how we view the world is about to happen. I have a feeling this may be important in the future. Just a hunch.
The flip side to this is, the big bang was a catastrophic event that, in theory, happened to have a fruitful side effect. So, what if this experiment is just catastrophic? I mean, Einstein didn't want the atom bomb but his discovery enabled it's creation. Plus, the Christian Right is accusing them of "playing God" as per usual, which usually means something that could change the face of how we view the world is about to happen. I have a feeling this may be important in the future. Just a hunch.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Hanky Panky
I am so glad that I work in the behind-the-scenes end of the store. I don't think I would get away with the way I say the brand-names of the products we sell if I were on the floor. I mean, seriously, people who decide to create a lingerie brand either think of a name that sounds vaguely french (of course only France could be responsible for beautiful and high-quality lingerie, duh) or that sounds like a weird sexual position (i.e. Hanky Panky). I find myself constantly stifling my strong desires to mock the pretentious products I have to sell to the person on the other end of the phone. It's also fun times talking to our male customers about converting their waist-size into a female size so they can buy thongs for themselves. Oh yeahhhh.
PS- Um...Nickelodeon is releasing a movie with Chris Malone and Amy Sedaris. Anyone else jumping for joy?
PS- Um...Nickelodeon is releasing a movie with Chris Malone and Amy Sedaris. Anyone else jumping for joy?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
And it's been a while...
At least my last post was also in a month that begins with A.
Well, I quit my soul-destroying job, went to NTC in Denver for a month, moved to Charleston and got a job selling over priced thongs.
It's kind of sad that the last three (almost four) months can be summed up that quickly. I am a thousand times happier than I was. I really didn't realize the depth of my misery until I crawled out of the cave, realized that my gut wasn't just overreacting and I wasn't just being a weakling who can't hang outside of the collegiate womb (thanks Kel for the O article).
NTC really changed my perspective on a lot of things. It was a godsend that I happened to go this particular year. I can't describe the experience to anyone who wasn't there. I guess it's like holding your breath until you almost pass out and then taking that big gasp of air and feeling your lungs filling with cool oxygen. Euphoria. Absolute Euphoria.
Well, I quit my soul-destroying job, went to NTC in Denver for a month, moved to Charleston and got a job selling over priced thongs.
It's kind of sad that the last three (almost four) months can be summed up that quickly. I am a thousand times happier than I was. I really didn't realize the depth of my misery until I crawled out of the cave, realized that my gut wasn't just overreacting and I wasn't just being a weakling who can't hang outside of the collegiate womb (thanks Kel for the O article).
NTC really changed my perspective on a lot of things. It was a godsend that I happened to go this particular year. I can't describe the experience to anyone who wasn't there. I guess it's like holding your breath until you almost pass out and then taking that big gasp of air and feeling your lungs filling with cool oxygen. Euphoria. Absolute Euphoria.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Random Babble
I miss someone whom I haven't missed in this particular way in a long time. No matter what, I always come back to him. We've known each other for three years and I've pretty much loved him since day one. He's one of my closest friends and I love him more deeply than most people in my life. He's the center. He's the starting point that you always return to after navigating the circumference. He's home. This should probably tell me something.
I am so lucky to have the people in my life that I do. I have one of the best support systems a person could hope for.
I'm literally tired of thinking about what I should do with my life. I just want to be happy and I have a feeling that I know where I would be happy. I've planned on going back there since college, I just don't want to return too soon. Does that make any sense?
I'm extremely proud of two of my closest friends, Katie and Kelly. They are such extraordinary women. Katie, super talented and just an all around wonderful human being, not-to-mention one of the funniest people I know. Kelly, her tenacity, drive and intellect make me strive to be like her someday. Aside from her mind, you can always count on her heart to embrace you when you're in need. I am so lucky to know them.
I think I subconsciously put myself in shitty situations. "You are positively charming..." I have a problem. I need to be able to shut off my flirtatious tendencies but if there's anything to challenge me I cannot...cannot let it go. I am an idiot.
I hate my current job. I love the people I work with but the actual job is just awful. I'm an accountant and I hate math. I was hired to assist the director of the arts facility and they hired someone else to do what I was hired to do. Seriously? This is just insane. They're wasting money and my time. I know this will help me in the future but right now it's a necessary evil (emphasis on evil). Arg.
I need a vacation. The last few weekends I spent in Charleston have spoiled me. It's like starving for a week and then someone handing you a plate filled with all of your favorite foods just to take it away and make you starve again. I'm hungry.
I'm on the way. I know I'm getting somewhere. I'm positive about this.
I am so lucky to have the people in my life that I do. I have one of the best support systems a person could hope for.
I'm literally tired of thinking about what I should do with my life. I just want to be happy and I have a feeling that I know where I would be happy. I've planned on going back there since college, I just don't want to return too soon. Does that make any sense?
I'm extremely proud of two of my closest friends, Katie and Kelly. They are such extraordinary women. Katie, super talented and just an all around wonderful human being, not-to-mention one of the funniest people I know. Kelly, her tenacity, drive and intellect make me strive to be like her someday. Aside from her mind, you can always count on her heart to embrace you when you're in need. I am so lucky to know them.
I think I subconsciously put myself in shitty situations. "You are positively charming..." I have a problem. I need to be able to shut off my flirtatious tendencies but if there's anything to challenge me I cannot...cannot let it go. I am an idiot.
I hate my current job. I love the people I work with but the actual job is just awful. I'm an accountant and I hate math. I was hired to assist the director of the arts facility and they hired someone else to do what I was hired to do. Seriously? This is just insane. They're wasting money and my time. I know this will help me in the future but right now it's a necessary evil (emphasis on evil). Arg.
I need a vacation. The last few weekends I spent in Charleston have spoiled me. It's like starving for a week and then someone handing you a plate filled with all of your favorite foods just to take it away and make you starve again. I'm hungry.
I'm on the way. I know I'm getting somewhere. I'm positive about this.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Pet Peeves
There are few things in this world I dislike more than catty women (or should I say girls?). I understand the need to protect things that are dear to you but to be silly and immature is not the way to go about it. Insecurity, although difficult to overcome, is not an excuse. I have had more ridiculous girls do whatever they can to shake me from my solid ground in the past few months than ever before. I have not experienced this kind of behavior since the 6th grade. Did you get that? SIXTH GRADE! I won't apologize for being secure, knowing who I am and liking it. If you find that threatening, it's your problem and only your problem.
Why do women do this to each other? At least men are more to the point about it and just say what's bothering them. Women, however, find it necessary to try and underhandedly cut down the threat, thus, making themselves look like the idiot. For the love of Pete, just be secure in what you have and shake off the rest. There's no need for obnoxious (yet, sometimes entertaining) behavior. Let. It. Go.
Why do women do this to each other? At least men are more to the point about it and just say what's bothering them. Women, however, find it necessary to try and underhandedly cut down the threat, thus, making themselves look like the idiot. For the love of Pete, just be secure in what you have and shake off the rest. There's no need for obnoxious (yet, sometimes entertaining) behavior. Let. It. Go.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Possibilities.
The world has stretched out before me beckoning me to choose where I want to go. I have nothing tying me to anything after October. I'm debating between three cities: London, Brooklyn and Charleston. Each one has pros and cons of course but I'm almost certain that one of them will fall into place when I need it to. I can't stay at my job after August or I will absolutely shrivel into a pile of discontent. I love Greenville but I am tired of meeting people who know all of the people I already know. Right now it is just a question of what I want to do with my life. My mom suggested that I don't try and figure that out while I'm here. She told me to move to a city that I really love and then try to figure it out there. That way, if it doesn't work out, I will still be in a good place.
I didn't get into grad school but I missed it by a narrow margin. I'm closer to getting in than I've ever been but I'm not sure if it's what I want anymore. I've chased this dream for so long but now it's fading into the background as I enjoy finding out what else I'm interested in. I have a lot of very different ambitions I'm exploring. I'm just working it out as I go and not really dealing with the rest. It hurt not getting into grad school but dreams change and maybe it's time mine did.
Relationships continue to confuse me and this small world in which we live continues to shrink. There have been several full circle events in the last few weeks and all of them have yielded positive results. It really is funny just how interconnected we all are. Everything happens for a reason and I'm interested in discovering the reasons in the upcoming weeks or months.
I have a clean slate, now I just have to figure out what to write on it.
I didn't get into grad school but I missed it by a narrow margin. I'm closer to getting in than I've ever been but I'm not sure if it's what I want anymore. I've chased this dream for so long but now it's fading into the background as I enjoy finding out what else I'm interested in. I have a lot of very different ambitions I'm exploring. I'm just working it out as I go and not really dealing with the rest. It hurt not getting into grad school but dreams change and maybe it's time mine did.
Relationships continue to confuse me and this small world in which we live continues to shrink. There have been several full circle events in the last few weeks and all of them have yielded positive results. It really is funny just how interconnected we all are. Everything happens for a reason and I'm interested in discovering the reasons in the upcoming weeks or months.
I have a clean slate, now I just have to figure out what to write on it.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The EX Beeper
I have a theory that men are all issued a beeper at birth that alerts them when their ex girlfriends (or be it the case, boyfriends) meet someone else or are finally stable in their lives. I met a fell-off-the-boat thick accented German automotive engineer (guess which car company he works for) the other night at one of my favorite hangout spots. He's very nice, athletic, successful, intelligent, etc, etc. I'm not really interested in dating anyone at the moment, but he could be a nice distraction. Anywhoo, I get to my office Monday and lo-and-behold I have a myspace message from the ex's roommate, Ken. I am almost positive Ken had a huge hand in our breakup and I'm not sure why he feels it necessary to contact me. I don't even speak to the ex anymore (see previous posts). All I can conclude is someone's beeper went off.
More than anything, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that the cat comes back without fail. I ran into one of the ex's friends, David, Saturday afternoon as well. He asked what happened and I was sure he would have at least heard something. David said to me that I was out of my ex's league and if he saw/sees me he'll regret it instantly. David saw him over Christmas and said that he looks like the weight of the world is bearing down on him. I should feel vindicated by this but I feel saddened instead.
How can I have a balance? Can I have this kid in my life or is it impossible? I don't want to be dragged down by him every time I get a leg up. I want to disable his beeper. I really want to make Ken feel about two inches tall and close off that connection, but how?
Everything else in my life is starting to balance. I'm not doing any plays anytime soon but I know that I will eventually. I haven't heard from grad schools so I'm in the limbo period but I'm holding up well. Things are looking up whether they like it or not. I'm okay and right now, that's not a bad place to be. I just want to euthanize the cat.
More than anything, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that the cat comes back without fail. I ran into one of the ex's friends, David, Saturday afternoon as well. He asked what happened and I was sure he would have at least heard something. David said to me that I was out of my ex's league and if he saw/sees me he'll regret it instantly. David saw him over Christmas and said that he looks like the weight of the world is bearing down on him. I should feel vindicated by this but I feel saddened instead.
How can I have a balance? Can I have this kid in my life or is it impossible? I don't want to be dragged down by him every time I get a leg up. I want to disable his beeper. I really want to make Ken feel about two inches tall and close off that connection, but how?
Everything else in my life is starting to balance. I'm not doing any plays anytime soon but I know that I will eventually. I haven't heard from grad schools so I'm in the limbo period but I'm holding up well. Things are looking up whether they like it or not. I'm okay and right now, that's not a bad place to be. I just want to euthanize the cat.
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