Okay, okay. I get it. It's been over a year since I've updated this thing and although I have wanted to write many a time since my last post, I simply haven't. So, here's to the reawakening.
Lately there have been a lot of conversations about women who choose career over love or vice versa. My close circle of friends have all stated that they want the career. I agree but it's not without it's conflicting feelings. I want success in my career. I want to own a home without a man involved. I want to be promoted. I want to be the "Big Guy". I want to not only raise the bar but become the bar. Most importantly, I don't want to feel guilty about it. To quote Lady Gaga via Katie's blog,
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that you career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
See? See what I mean? I know that if I bust my ass at my job I will eventually make it to where I want to go (well, in theory) but I don't know that if I sacrifice for a man it'll pay off. In fact, in my experience (outside of my parent's 40 year marriage) relationships suck. Someone screws up and it seems like it's harder with my generation for those screw ups to be resolved.
BUT speaking of career women, a friend of mine gave me a book to peruse recently and in spite of a cheesy title ("Women Don't Ask") and even more ridiculous and lame cover art, it's actually been a really eye-opening book. Basically, it's research from an economist and a psychologist on the real reason why women earn less money for the same or more demanding job, take care of more household issues and usually give up their career ambitions for their husband's. It's because we don't ask for more money/help/benefits/etc and from a young age are taught to not place monetary value on our tasks. I'm fascinated by this book. Why? Because everything they argue is backed by notated research and it just makes sense. It also pisses me off.
On the flip side, I made the colossal mistake of watching "Up In The Air" this afternoon, which is a love letter to the find-love-above-all-else-or-you'll-wind-up-with-ten-million-frequent-flyer-miles-and-an-empty-apartment argument. The more I think about it and the more I see the couples around me the more I realize, as a woman, you really can't have both. At least, you can't have both and maintain a normal blood pressure. Do I want the empty apartment and an amazing jet-setting life or do I want a warm body to come home to and an unsatisfying career?
There are times when I truly hate seeing both sides of most arguments.
