For some reason, I have watched "He's Just Not That Into You" several times. Maybe it's because of the hope that I don't remember the movie correctly. Maybe it's because it gives me fuel to not buy into the title's philosophy. So, here's what I've learned:
Everyone is the exception not the rule...wait, everyone's the rule and not the exception (at least until the last 10 minutes of the film where everyone will get everything they ever wanted).
Yoga teachers like skinny-dipping and are sluts.
Screwing a married man is fine as long as he doesn't also continue to screw his wife.
Gingers are clingers.
A man will marry you if you decide that you no longer want to get married.
Only anal-retentive, OCD crazy bitches have their husbands cheat on them.
Promotional pens are great gifts.
If you're an obsessive potential boyfriend stalker, Prince Charming will save you from yourself and also date you.
A Mac will like you, even if you're a PC.
Husbands are pigs.
Gay BFFs are incredibly unhelpful.
No one genuinely wants to help you with your career. They just want to do you.
Even if the girl doesn't like you, she will still screw you. You just have to wait until she's vulnerable.
Writing copy for nutmeg is the hardest job in the world.
Mary Stuart Masterson movies will teach you how to be the perfect woman.
It's unfortunate that men control most of the Hollywood studios.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
La la LA la
So, I'm taking a break from my writing job to, er, write. Anywho...I just started a new gig as an SEO writer for 10 Best Solutions (for those of you not down with the lingo, SEO means "search engine optimized"). Here I was thinking I'd just be given a list of bullet points and asked to write about them. No sir. No ma'am. It's harcore analytics and they don't give you the bullet points, you have to find them. It's a little overwhelming but I think I'll get the hang of it soon. It's a nice job. I get to listen to my ipod and learn a new skill which, I love. I am a collector of obscure skills and certifications. Just one more for the ol' CV.
In other news, there is no other news. My life is pretty boring at the moment. All I do is work and read books. I did, however, finally send of my application to ad school. It's not up to the standard that I wanted it to be but I gave myself a deadline and I only missed it by two days. Haha. I just hope it's enough to get me in so I can finally start on the path to get to where I want to be. I have a feeling this SEO work is going to come in handy.
I forgot what it was like to have a 9-5 desk job. My legs hurt from sitting all day long. I'm going to have to do some sort of exercise from now on to keep myself from what I like to call "high school teacher ass". You know what I'm talking about. Narrow shoulders and then a flat backside. It's okay. We've all seen it and judged accordingly. I just don't want it. Maybe I'll just do squats during my lunch break.
Well, I need to get back to writing about this hotel in Texas. Woohoo.
In other news, there is no other news. My life is pretty boring at the moment. All I do is work and read books. I did, however, finally send of my application to ad school. It's not up to the standard that I wanted it to be but I gave myself a deadline and I only missed it by two days. Haha. I just hope it's enough to get me in so I can finally start on the path to get to where I want to be. I have a feeling this SEO work is going to come in handy.
I forgot what it was like to have a 9-5 desk job. My legs hurt from sitting all day long. I'm going to have to do some sort of exercise from now on to keep myself from what I like to call "high school teacher ass". You know what I'm talking about. Narrow shoulders and then a flat backside. It's okay. We've all seen it and judged accordingly. I just don't want it. Maybe I'll just do squats during my lunch break.
Well, I need to get back to writing about this hotel in Texas. Woohoo.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Semi-intoxicated Cinco De Mayo Rant
Okay, this might be my hormones/tequila kicking in BUT I am so f-ing tired of the guys with girlfriends bullshit. OH. Mmm. Gee. Seriously? The amount of guys I have met who have girlfriends, and by girlfriends I mean LAME ASS girlfriends is astonishing. I met this amazing guy last week. AMAZING. Has a girlfriend. Did he mention said girlfriend, no. Of course not. Why would he? Has he been keeping e-mail/twitter tabs on me? Yes. Has he been in touch to talk about how awesome I am? Yes. Do I have "Back-burner Girl" tattooed across my forehead? Apparently. I am so frustrated at this moment as I tried to count how many times I've been in my current situation and I lost count at 15. FIFTEEN!!! Really? REALLY?!?!? Know how I found out about said girlfriend? Stalkbook. Nothing is sacred in the digitized age. Nothing. Boys, keep this in mind. We will find out. We know. We are not backstabbing sluts. Go fuck yourselves if you think otherwise.
The End.
The End.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Twists in the Pursuit of Greatness
Recently, through an unbelievable bit of fate, I spent three days at an educational/creative conference called Food For Thought. To say is was a game changer is a gross understatement. I had the most indescribable experience and met some incredible people. Listening to the various speakers (i.e. Mayor Cory Booker, founder of Geek Squad Robert Stephens and Chef Wylie Dufresne) made me realize things that I hadn't been brave enough to think about before. Greatness takes courage.
As I was listening to everyone around me I started to feel inspired. Inspired in a way I haven't been in a very long time. It was refreshing to hear that people whom I have admired struggle(d) with their destinies. It was refreshing to hear that there were moments where they wanted to be ordinary. It was refreshing to hear that a belief in one's greatness is not arrogance but knowledge of truth.
What was more bizarre is that my story was often a parallel to those who were speaking. In fact, Francesca (one of the attendees) told me that she couldn't stop thinking about my story which, was revealed at dinner the first night. She told me to soak it in and use this as a springboard for my future. I've been lucky to have a lot of people in my life believe in me. What's made me especially grateful for this past week is the fact that now I have met virtual strangers who believe in me.
I've often been called arrogant, pretentious and stuck-up. Once people get to know me, they usually renege those sentiments but I think I now understand why people initially feel that way about me. I know I am destined for greatness. Not necessarily fame or fortune as those are not the defining principles of greatness. The problem of saying out loud that I believe that I will do great things is it comes off as arrogance. If I had already achieved what I believe I will, no one would call that arrogant. They would ask for advice/guidance/etc.
So many things are put in place to make people fear living up to or surpassing their potential. Society for one. Competitors for another. Well, after FFT I've decided to put on the blinders and go full speed ahead. A simple piece of advice that might be a little hard to follow sometimes but being ordinary just isn't an option. No matter how much I might want to be from time to time.
As I was listening to everyone around me I started to feel inspired. Inspired in a way I haven't been in a very long time. It was refreshing to hear that people whom I have admired struggle(d) with their destinies. It was refreshing to hear that there were moments where they wanted to be ordinary. It was refreshing to hear that a belief in one's greatness is not arrogance but knowledge of truth.
What was more bizarre is that my story was often a parallel to those who were speaking. In fact, Francesca (one of the attendees) told me that she couldn't stop thinking about my story which, was revealed at dinner the first night. She told me to soak it in and use this as a springboard for my future. I've been lucky to have a lot of people in my life believe in me. What's made me especially grateful for this past week is the fact that now I have met virtual strangers who believe in me.
I've often been called arrogant, pretentious and stuck-up. Once people get to know me, they usually renege those sentiments but I think I now understand why people initially feel that way about me. I know I am destined for greatness. Not necessarily fame or fortune as those are not the defining principles of greatness. The problem of saying out loud that I believe that I will do great things is it comes off as arrogance. If I had already achieved what I believe I will, no one would call that arrogant. They would ask for advice/guidance/etc.
So many things are put in place to make people fear living up to or surpassing their potential. Society for one. Competitors for another. Well, after FFT I've decided to put on the blinders and go full speed ahead. A simple piece of advice that might be a little hard to follow sometimes but being ordinary just isn't an option. No matter how much I might want to be from time to time.
Friday, April 16, 2010
I Left My Heart in San Francisco
A few things I noticed on both cross-country flights:
Tubby, bald white men, Eastern European women and surfer brahs hold up the boarding process more than anyone else.
When sitting next to a mother and her three-year-old, if she ignores said child, what she's really doing is hoping you'll take an interest in the little ankle-biting monster that is kicking the crap out of you and be her free babysitter for the duration of the flight.
Fanny packs are back!
There are a lot of hot, young dads. It's weird.
Watching Criminal Minds while sitting next to a child is ALWAYS a good idea.
Continental Airlines needs to redesign their uniforms ASAP. All the flight attendants look like majorettes in the saddest marching band in the world and the air stewards look like they're doing a half-assed impression of Dick Tracy.
The flight attendants hate their jobs. Trust me, they totes do.
Moving on, my trip to The Bay City was amazing. The weather was gorgeous, the people are so nice and Miami Ad School kicks major ass. What really struck me about San Francisco is the energy. It's very different from here. Don't get me wrong, I love the South but in California, people were so positive and healthy. I saw more runners in two days then I've seen in a week here. Sure, there are seedy parts of town and a large homeless population (as is true with any major city) but I never felt like I was in any sort of danger.
What I do know is, if/when I move out there, most of my monthly budget will inevitably go to food. Oh the food! So many vegetarian options, farmer's markets, wine and countless specialty stores! My foodie self was overwhelmed.
As for MAS, I had a ball. I sat in on a class and all of the students were welcoming. Plus, they are in advertising so they did their best to sell me on their school. And it worked. It was refreshing to sit in a room of witty creatives. I was still the odd ball but I suppose that's my lot in life.
It's taking everything I have to not quit my job (which, isn't bad, it's just waiting tables), pack my stuff and figure it out once I get there. Lo, I cannot. I have four more months and then, THEN I can go. Boo.
Tubby, bald white men, Eastern European women and surfer brahs hold up the boarding process more than anyone else.
When sitting next to a mother and her three-year-old, if she ignores said child, what she's really doing is hoping you'll take an interest in the little ankle-biting monster that is kicking the crap out of you and be her free babysitter for the duration of the flight.
Fanny packs are back!
There are a lot of hot, young dads. It's weird.
Watching Criminal Minds while sitting next to a child is ALWAYS a good idea.
Continental Airlines needs to redesign their uniforms ASAP. All the flight attendants look like majorettes in the saddest marching band in the world and the air stewards look like they're doing a half-assed impression of Dick Tracy.
The flight attendants hate their jobs. Trust me, they totes do.
Moving on, my trip to The Bay City was amazing. The weather was gorgeous, the people are so nice and Miami Ad School kicks major ass. What really struck me about San Francisco is the energy. It's very different from here. Don't get me wrong, I love the South but in California, people were so positive and healthy. I saw more runners in two days then I've seen in a week here. Sure, there are seedy parts of town and a large homeless population (as is true with any major city) but I never felt like I was in any sort of danger.
What I do know is, if/when I move out there, most of my monthly budget will inevitably go to food. Oh the food! So many vegetarian options, farmer's markets, wine and countless specialty stores! My foodie self was overwhelmed.
As for MAS, I had a ball. I sat in on a class and all of the students were welcoming. Plus, they are in advertising so they did their best to sell me on their school. And it worked. It was refreshing to sit in a room of witty creatives. I was still the odd ball but I suppose that's my lot in life.
It's taking everything I have to not quit my job (which, isn't bad, it's just waiting tables), pack my stuff and figure it out once I get there. Lo, I cannot. I have four more months and then, THEN I can go. Boo.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Time to Get Personal
Almost two months ago, I made the decision to go see "Food Inc." as part of Greenville Forward's lecture series and I haven't eaten meat since. If you haven't seen "Food Inc." it's currently available on Netflix instant watch. So, watch it instantly. Now to be honest, I miss meat. A lot. Especially bacon. God, do I miss bacon. But, I just can't bring myself to actually purchase it, let alone consume it. Now I'm not about to claim that I've never put my mind to something, been a stubborn ass about maintaining it and then renege on said conviction a few months later. Guilty. However, I am in no way claiming that I will never eat meat again. So there.
I'm a vegetarian at the moment. By vegetarian, I mean I'm eating bread, pasta and cheese. Super healthy I know. Instead of meat, I'm eating fish and seafood, which got me called out by my dear brother. Last week, I made a tasty ahi tuna taco with broccoli slaw while my family ate ham. What did Kit have to say about this? Let me tell you, he took a huge bite of ham and looked at me and said, "So, you won't eat ham but you'll eat an endangered species? How does that make sense in your moral compass?" Kit - 1, me - 0. My response...? Do what any nerd would do and buy books. Lots of books. What books you ask; "The Kind Diet" Alicia Silverstone, "The Omnivore's Dilemma", "Food Rules" Michael Pollan, and various other Vegan and Vegetarian cookbooks. What have these books told me? That there's a lot of things I love that I can't have but there are a lot of benefits to no longer having those things. Plus, eating out will be a pain in the ass.
Recently, I found out that at the ripe old age of 25 I'm pre-menopausal. Yes, Mrs. Reel, you were right, my eggs are old. My testosterone levels are so low, that it's affecting my life and probably has been since I was a teenager. Thank you prescription drug companies for giving bonuses to doctors who peddle your products without consequences. The pseudo tumor cerebri is probably due to being prescribed the most powerful oral contraceptive on the market when I was in puberty. Not only that, the pseudo tumor was never actually treated. Also, my hormone levels (which, I have consistently asked my doctors to check) were never checked because I was/am "too young." Another thing, it's the reason I've struggled with my weight for a decade. What's the solution: Hormone replacement therapy. Cost: $3,000 per year. What are these replacement hormones made out of: Plants. See a pattern here?
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to be vegan one day a week. I'm going to try to be vegetarian the rest of the week. I'm going to cut out processed foods and refined sugar and flower (something I've been slowly doing since college). I'm going to go to Whole Foods and not buy what I usually buy:
Cheese
Sushi
Wine
Bread
Brownies
Cake
Microwavable Meals
Frozen Veggies
Olives
Eggs
It feeds a nice delusion that I'm being healthy because I'm shopping at Whole Foods. Granted, it's healthier because it's organic, but it still ain't healthy. I just gave myself a ridiculous reality check. Hope y'all are proud.
If I were to do what all of these books tell me to do and choose a plant based diet, my skin will clear up, my weight will be under control and my hormones will balance themselves out naturally. Thus, no more acne cream ($300 per year), no more hormone replacement therapy ($3000 per year) and no more vitamin supplements ($150-300 per year). That's a shit ton of money I can put in savings. Do I think I can do this? At the moment, hell yes. Do I think I'll never eat meat again? No but I think I can start wanting to eat veggies and fruit instead of those Chick Filet nuggets dipped in high fructose corn syrup sauce. At least, I hope that's what happens.
Side bar- Currently, my dad is in the kitchen with his hands in a vat of chopped packaged ham mixed with microwave potatoes to make ham croquettes. And I wonder why my system is screwed up after years of that food.
I'm a vegetarian at the moment. By vegetarian, I mean I'm eating bread, pasta and cheese. Super healthy I know. Instead of meat, I'm eating fish and seafood, which got me called out by my dear brother. Last week, I made a tasty ahi tuna taco with broccoli slaw while my family ate ham. What did Kit have to say about this? Let me tell you, he took a huge bite of ham and looked at me and said, "So, you won't eat ham but you'll eat an endangered species? How does that make sense in your moral compass?" Kit - 1, me - 0. My response...? Do what any nerd would do and buy books. Lots of books. What books you ask; "The Kind Diet" Alicia Silverstone, "The Omnivore's Dilemma", "Food Rules" Michael Pollan, and various other Vegan and Vegetarian cookbooks. What have these books told me? That there's a lot of things I love that I can't have but there are a lot of benefits to no longer having those things. Plus, eating out will be a pain in the ass.
Recently, I found out that at the ripe old age of 25 I'm pre-menopausal. Yes, Mrs. Reel, you were right, my eggs are old. My testosterone levels are so low, that it's affecting my life and probably has been since I was a teenager. Thank you prescription drug companies for giving bonuses to doctors who peddle your products without consequences. The pseudo tumor cerebri is probably due to being prescribed the most powerful oral contraceptive on the market when I was in puberty. Not only that, the pseudo tumor was never actually treated. Also, my hormone levels (which, I have consistently asked my doctors to check) were never checked because I was/am "too young." Another thing, it's the reason I've struggled with my weight for a decade. What's the solution: Hormone replacement therapy. Cost: $3,000 per year. What are these replacement hormones made out of: Plants. See a pattern here?
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to be vegan one day a week. I'm going to try to be vegetarian the rest of the week. I'm going to cut out processed foods and refined sugar and flower (something I've been slowly doing since college). I'm going to go to Whole Foods and not buy what I usually buy:
Cheese
Sushi
Wine
Bread
Brownies
Cake
Microwavable Meals
Frozen Veggies
Olives
Eggs
It feeds a nice delusion that I'm being healthy because I'm shopping at Whole Foods. Granted, it's healthier because it's organic, but it still ain't healthy. I just gave myself a ridiculous reality check. Hope y'all are proud.
If I were to do what all of these books tell me to do and choose a plant based diet, my skin will clear up, my weight will be under control and my hormones will balance themselves out naturally. Thus, no more acne cream ($300 per year), no more hormone replacement therapy ($3000 per year) and no more vitamin supplements ($150-300 per year). That's a shit ton of money I can put in savings. Do I think I can do this? At the moment, hell yes. Do I think I'll never eat meat again? No but I think I can start wanting to eat veggies and fruit instead of those Chick Filet nuggets dipped in high fructose corn syrup sauce. At least, I hope that's what happens.
Side bar- Currently, my dad is in the kitchen with his hands in a vat of chopped packaged ham mixed with microwave potatoes to make ham croquettes. And I wonder why my system is screwed up after years of that food.
Friday, March 12, 2010
My New Idol
Kelly Cutrone is a true industry hero. Granted, I in no way want to go into fashion PR, but her philosophy and brutal honesty are refreshing. It's about time the Millennial Generation realizes that the world isn't going to hand them whatever it is their spoiled little hearts desire without hard work. Bravo, Kelly Cutrone, bravo!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
In Response to Shawn's Nudge
Okay, okay. I get it. It's been over a year since I've updated this thing and although I have wanted to write many a time since my last post, I simply haven't. So, here's to the reawakening.
Lately there have been a lot of conversations about women who choose career over love or vice versa. My close circle of friends have all stated that they want the career. I agree but it's not without it's conflicting feelings. I want success in my career. I want to own a home without a man involved. I want to be promoted. I want to be the "Big Guy". I want to not only raise the bar but become the bar. Most importantly, I don't want to feel guilty about it. To quote Lady Gaga via Katie's blog,
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that you career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
See? See what I mean? I know that if I bust my ass at my job I will eventually make it to where I want to go (well, in theory) but I don't know that if I sacrifice for a man it'll pay off. In fact, in my experience (outside of my parent's 40 year marriage) relationships suck. Someone screws up and it seems like it's harder with my generation for those screw ups to be resolved.
BUT speaking of career women, a friend of mine gave me a book to peruse recently and in spite of a cheesy title ("Women Don't Ask") and even more ridiculous and lame cover art, it's actually been a really eye-opening book. Basically, it's research from an economist and a psychologist on the real reason why women earn less money for the same or more demanding job, take care of more household issues and usually give up their career ambitions for their husband's. It's because we don't ask for more money/help/benefits/etc and from a young age are taught to not place monetary value on our tasks. I'm fascinated by this book. Why? Because everything they argue is backed by notated research and it just makes sense. It also pisses me off.
On the flip side, I made the colossal mistake of watching "Up In The Air" this afternoon, which is a love letter to the find-love-above-all-else-or-you'll-wind-up-with-ten-million-frequent-flyer-miles-and-an-empty-apartment argument. The more I think about it and the more I see the couples around me the more I realize, as a woman, you really can't have both. At least, you can't have both and maintain a normal blood pressure. Do I want the empty apartment and an amazing jet-setting life or do I want a warm body to come home to and an unsatisfying career?
There are times when I truly hate seeing both sides of most arguments.
Lately there have been a lot of conversations about women who choose career over love or vice versa. My close circle of friends have all stated that they want the career. I agree but it's not without it's conflicting feelings. I want success in my career. I want to own a home without a man involved. I want to be promoted. I want to be the "Big Guy". I want to not only raise the bar but become the bar. Most importantly, I don't want to feel guilty about it. To quote Lady Gaga via Katie's blog,
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that you career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
See? See what I mean? I know that if I bust my ass at my job I will eventually make it to where I want to go (well, in theory) but I don't know that if I sacrifice for a man it'll pay off. In fact, in my experience (outside of my parent's 40 year marriage) relationships suck. Someone screws up and it seems like it's harder with my generation for those screw ups to be resolved.
BUT speaking of career women, a friend of mine gave me a book to peruse recently and in spite of a cheesy title ("Women Don't Ask") and even more ridiculous and lame cover art, it's actually been a really eye-opening book. Basically, it's research from an economist and a psychologist on the real reason why women earn less money for the same or more demanding job, take care of more household issues and usually give up their career ambitions for their husband's. It's because we don't ask for more money/help/benefits/etc and from a young age are taught to not place monetary value on our tasks. I'm fascinated by this book. Why? Because everything they argue is backed by notated research and it just makes sense. It also pisses me off.
On the flip side, I made the colossal mistake of watching "Up In The Air" this afternoon, which is a love letter to the find-love-above-all-else-or-you'll-wind-up-with-ten-million-frequent-flyer-miles-and-an-empty-apartment argument. The more I think about it and the more I see the couples around me the more I realize, as a woman, you really can't have both. At least, you can't have both and maintain a normal blood pressure. Do I want the empty apartment and an amazing jet-setting life or do I want a warm body to come home to and an unsatisfying career?
There are times when I truly hate seeing both sides of most arguments.
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